I really felt this. Spain can be warm and social on the surface, but breaking past that wall can be exhausting, especially after years. On your budget and with those travel constraints, a few places jump out to me.
Berlin is the obvious one. Flights to BCN and southern France are easy, you absolutely do not need a car, and the LGBT scene is deep without being all rainbow capitalism. It is one of the easiest cities in Europe to just exist as yourself and slowly find your people. Rent is the hard part, but outside the trendiest areas it can still work on your income.
Vienna is another strong option. Surprisingly queer friendly, very livable without a car, and the social culture tends to be slower but deeper than Spain. It is not flashy, but people who click tend to really click. Flights to BCN are frequent and cheap.
If you want something smaller and more intimate, Ljubljana is underrated. Very walkable, progressive, small but real LGBT scene, and people are more reserved but genuine once you connect. Travel is a bit less direct, but still manageable.
You sound less like you want sunshine and more like you want emotional oxygen. Northern and central Europe tend to be better for that, even if they feel colder at first.
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